Just Friends!

Why do we always feel the need to add some tag or title to our relationships? Why not just let things be the way they are? We as a society feel a desperate urge to categorize people, based on what they eat, what they wear or with whom they are seen.

When I watched When Harry Met Sally for the first time, one of the dialogues used in the film stayed with me, "Men and women can never be friends." A similar statement was quoted in Maine Pyar Kiya and many subsequent movies. Is it really true? Of course there are friendships which may go on to become more than just platonic relationships but it's really not fair to say that it happens all the time. I do have many good guy friends and I am really emotionally attached to them. I can spend hours talking to them or roaming with them and I do love them but not in a romantic way. Then, why is it that society is bent on putting a label on it?

Why is it that if a girl and a guy spend some time alone and talk to each other, we always come to the conclusion that they are interested in each other? If we see just the two of them anywhere, why do we always think they are a couple? Why can't you understand that maybe it's because they are just comfortable enough to talk about anything under the sun. Again, I am not saying this is the case all the time but please do not pass judgement/ gossip before actually knowing the truth.

Is it really so hard to understand that you could be friends with the opposite sex with no hidden intentions whatsoever. There's no need to analyse each and everything. If a girl smiles and talks to you she's attracted to you or if a guy does the same, he's hitting on you! Really, is that how matured you are? Isn't it enough that people around you are analyzing each and every move you make that you also put an added burden on something which could turn out to be a great friendship. Enjoy the company and have a good time!

I am not very sure about you guys out there, but for me friendship is too important to lose over something so trivial and unpredictable as to what "might" happen in the future.

Dikhta nahi hai kya!

Who says Indians are not united? After traveling to almost 6 different cities within a span of three weeks, this is one thing that I'm very sure is not true. Wherever there is anything remotely connected to rules, we have an itch for breaking that. After all what are rules made for, if not for breaking!!

Traffic signals are meant to be jumped, seat belts are supposed to be kept behind the seat and helmets....don't get me started on them. Of course they are supposed to be worn on your hands or even better kept on your bike handle!!!! Which idiot came up with the idea that it should be worn on head! If you have a bike, you are supposed to check the speeds to which it can go and do all the possible stunts on a crowded road. So what if triple riding is illegal? We'll go one step ahead and ride with four of our friends with none of us wearing our helmets. Let us see what Bollywood action directors have to say about that!

If you are driving a truck or bus, you obviously own the road and you have the right to keep honking till the other person makes way for you even if he has to park on the side for that. If you are driving a car, you are of course above bikers and cyclists as per Indian Road Hierarchy and you have the right to take your own sweet time to take decision and give indicator at the last moment and if the other motorists did not see that, well it's their own fault.

Then we come to the auto drivers...the true followers of worldwide action heroes! They can make snakes blush by their talent to zigzag out of any kind of traffic. They have the ability to look left and drive to the right. If you ever feel like going to an amusement park for a thrilling ride, don't go and waste your money there. Just go for a ride in one of these autos, they will literally give you a "out of the world" experience. But the "best" experience I had was when our cab driver opened his door while driving at approximately 50 km/hr and turned outside to spit without once giving any indication!

However, the best things are always saved for the last! And none of the above can beat the kings of our roads, the pedestrians. They can stop in the middle of the road and turn to call out a friend who is walking on the other side of the road without any fear of the vehicles. Well, if the drivers don't want to get beaten up by public or arrested by police they will move themselves. There is no concept of zebra crossing, in fact there is no such thing in the world. Why waste your time waiting for the signal to go red? Just show your hand and move ahead or even better just jump out of thin air and make a dash for it. And if a motorist dares to come in your path just shout at him "dikhta nahi hai kya". They have amazing gymnastic  and athletic talent, jumping over road dividers, running through a busy thoroughfare among many other hidden ones.

It's a real irony that rules have to be enforced and fines have to be paid by people for not following them when they are meant for their own safety.

Nadir

I've never really been much of a supporter for all these fairness cream advertisements which try to target the weakest spot of many Indian consumers, getting a fair skin. However till now I wasn't really bothered about the way they showed their products; the nonsensical relationship shown between being fair and being successful or being fair and suddenly being liked by everyone.

But the advt. which I saw today crossed all the borders of sensibility and forced me to actually write about it. This major cosmetic brand, which has actually become a synonym and a market leader for such products, has come out with a TVC wherein a girl is shown lamenting the fact that a guy doesn't like her because she's not fair (while surprisingly she's completely rosy and white!) and as soon as she starts using the cream she becomes totally white with some added makeup. And she's now in a relationship with the guy!!!

I mean guys come on!!! If some girls out there are actually falling for this kind of promotions, I beg of you please be a bit more sensible! If this was the case then all the fair people/ girls will get into relationships while the other "not so lucky ones" will be single, failure in their lives and a totally dejected lot.

And I'm sure you know that's not the truth! Life is not all about looks, they can only take you so far but after a point even that will not help you. Even in Bollywood, looks or skin show alone can't help make a career, you need to work towards results. Nothing comes for free.

And as far as these companies are concerned, I'm sure they'll continue making such idiotic advertisements as long as its getting them revenues. The responsibility lies with us.....whether we are okay with being taken for a ride or can we be a bit smart about it?

Are they invisible...

“I don’t do stunts. I only do my own fighting scenes which I don’t consider as stunts. My friend and stunt double does all the hard stuff.” This simple statement given by actor Liam Neeson while promoting his upcoming movie got me thinking. How is it that on one hand there is this person who is categorically and very humbly stating that someone else does those breathtaking action sequences, while on the other hand we have actors like Abhishek Bachchan who was caught lying when he claimed to have done the cliff-dive in Raavan?

And this is not the first time in Bollywood when someone has tried to take credit for someone else’s work. And why should I say in Bollywood, doesn’t it happen everywhere? Given a chance, people would surely try to get credit for a good job done by someone else! Some get caught, others don’t.

The recent trend, as per Indian film industry, is to get publicity in any and everyway possible, irrespective of whether it’s positive or negative. Relationships are made, fights are created and eyeballs are captured in the horde to get publicity. And if the movie works, the credit goes to the actors, the director or numerology!! But what about those who work behind the scenes to make it a success? What about those technicians, spot boys, assistant etc. who toil extra hard, irrespective of the time or weather, to ensure that the lead actors look great and everything goes smoothly. They get lost somewhere between the making of the movie and the awards show where only the influential ones are mentioned, except by a few actors.

Of course, they are the point of interaction with the audience, so the actors have to be highlighted but that doesn’t make it the outcome of an individuals’ effort only. It has always been and will always be a team effort and its time that the Indian film industry accepts it.

However not all filmmakers are like this. And this is one of the things I like about Rohit Shetty (director of movies like Golmaal series, Sunday, Zameen etc.). At the end of each of his work, he mentions ‘Rohit Shetty and Team.’ It’s an informal way of congratulating and saying thank you isn’t it?

Destiny

Destiny, kismet or whatever people may call it based on the place where they live forms a strong part of our lives. Many times I have heard or been told that we have to create our own destiny. But is it really that simple? I am not negating the fact that we can’t sit idly and then blame our kismet for the hard luck that might fall on us but sometimes despite our strongest efforts things don’t go as planned. Isn’t it then destiny or some force much stronger and higher than us who has the reins in His hands?

Love, it’s a simple four letter word but has such varied definitions and emotions. It can be towards that special someone, our families, country or anything and everything. Although a simple emotion it can be sometimes really difficult to explain and express it in a few words. But the most mind boggling yet magical part about it is that you can never guess or even be sure as to when it might affect you.

Everyone loves those people who have been close to them for the majority of their lives but what causes someone to fall in love with a person they have met barely few days or a week ago? What is that thing which attracts two people who had never even talked to each other for hours and still find an attraction between them? I don’t want to cover such a beautiful feeling under the cloak of boring names of chemicals like Dopamine or Oxytocin.

Being in my campus for the past 1 year or so, I have seen several couples being formed; some were predictive while some surprised everyone they knew. I have talked to a few of my friends and have found out how they never “planned out” on getting a boyfriend/ girlfriend while doing their MBA but it happened. Most of them were really quiet people who never really talked to others or went out in groups so that we might say it’s because they socialized or got out that much but it happened for them. Is this only because of some chemical reactions which happened on seeing the other person or is it because they were destined to meet?

We meet lots of people in our entire life; some just pass us by, some stay in our lives for some time while some leave a mark on us. How can we then predict or decide how or where our lives will lead us? Sometimes just a small ‘Hi’ in a crowded bus can lead to a close friendship while at other times even when you spend your entire days with someone doesn’t give you a sense of happiness.

Having gone through a series of my own personal experiences, some told to others and some hidden under several layers in my heart as my most private experiences I can say that at least to me destiny plays a huge part. There have been instances where I had everything planned out but exactly the opposite happened. Personally my belief is you can only try up to an extent, after which it would be futile to try and get some control over your life because it will only cause frustration.

Addictive Mirror

It has been a crazy week for me, with hectic preparations for my interim report which is to be submitted in a few days along with going to the office daily, waking up early, getting back home late. But my days have not been as crazy as the news articles which have been circulating in the Indian media for the past 3-4 days.

Love across borders…..for die hard romantics like me, it is a very fascinating occurrence. Two people from different backgrounds, representatives of two very similar but at the same time two very different countries deciding to get married to take their love for each other to a new level.

But in this case this, this love came with a twist. I am sure you might have guessed by now that I am talking about the much discussed Sania – Shoaib romance which was interrupted by another person. Don’t worry I am not going to go in all the murky details of the case!!!! I can’t even if I want to. It would be like going on a twisted ride in an amusement park, with both the parties making allegations followed by additional charges with no hard core evidence.

If on one hand, Ayesha came forward to get justice in the form of a divorce, Shoaib is saying he doesn’t even know her. Then came the allegations of the Siddiquis’ using fake photographs to supposedly “trap” Shoaib. News channels went into an overdrive in trying to cover this story which was a boon for them as it proved to be an apt masala to serve to the audience to fill the gap which was created after Rahul Mahajan finally got married!!!! Although I’m thankful that it has finally come to its end, logical or not, but yeah for many a really good way of passing time has also got over J

This ridiculous news was given so much coverage that the naxalite attack over our brave CRPF soldiers which occurred at the same time became supplementary news over many news channels as they became immersed in inviting people for discussions on it. For Indian media, which I plan to join in the future, it was a new low in an attempt to raise TRP’s.

Strange land, strange happenings!

Incredible India!! How true is this statement these days for the 7^th largest nation of the world! Where on one hand we still have majority of our population below the poverty line, on the other hand there are brazen displays of money in the higher strata’s of the society.

Dalit ki Beti, Mayawati, always attracts votes during elections by calling for dalits to bring her to power in order to come out of their current low status in the society. For many years, the political equation in U.P has been defined by Samajwadi and Bahujan Samaj Party which is a struggle between the dalits and the so-called higher class. It’s a comedy of sorts to see one party cancel out or declare illegal the laws made during the tenure of the other party. Out of two evils it is very hard to determine which is even slightly better.

In case of the present Mayawati government, money is spent in tunes of 7-figures to place statues of elephants and Kanshi Ram at prominent places. Such news come filtering out after regular intervals of time.

But this time Behenji took the entire political system as well as the entire nation by storm. A brazen display of a garland made of currency notes enveloping her during the anniversary celebrations of the party made the front news. Against the expectations of party members going on defensive mode the same incident was repeated 2 days later, albeit with a smaller garland.

Having been lived in U.P during the initial years of my life, I consider it as an integral party of who I am now. I am in a kind of a love-hate relationship with the place. It has been 12 years since I left the place with a bitter after taste in my mouth but I can’t still see any major changes which could have happened in the positive direction.

When the central government allocates funds for some sort of developmental activity, it disappears midway. A state with such huge opportunities in terms of land and labor has no huge industry to boast of. There are still huge levels of corruption, low literacy levels and major wastage of latent talent.

When the party members were questioned, they came out with the explanation that the garland was made out of the contributions from them rather than from other sources. But if they have the monetary strength to contribute money to this extent for their respected “Behenji”, then why hasn’t there been any visible development in this state. Why aren’t there any educational institutions to boast of apart from a stray IIM and a handful of engineering colleges? If they have this much money to collect why are still hordes of laborers and daily wage earners migrating to other places? Why is Lucknow, once considered a hub of Nawabi culture, now a witness to its death?

I just hope that these political parties answer these questions before U.P is also considered a lost cause and left without any hope.